Always Good for a Bad Pun

  • M.C. of the San Quentin Talent Show: “I’ve never had a more captive audience.  Thank you, gentlemen.  I’ll be here all night…. Unfortunately.”
  • “I miss Ol’ Rex every day since the day he died.” / “That was the last day I did miss that dog.”
  • The Bedouin’s daughters are pretty intense.
  • “Waiter, there’s a hair in my roast duck!” / “I’m sorry, madame, I thought you ordered the rabbit.”
  • “Waiter!  What is this moth doing in my soup?” / “I do believe it is the butterfly stroke, madame.”
  • “Waiter, why is your thumb on my steak?” / “That’s so I do not drop it again, madame.”
  • “Waiter, this meat is brown clear through!  I clearly said I wanted a rare steak!” / “Madame, this is the only way to cook white rhinoceros.”
  • “Garçon, is that your shoeprint on my sirloin? / “As you ordered:  ‘steak seared medium, and step on it!’

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